I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
