Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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