watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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