Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.