High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory