i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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