Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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