I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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