My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
