i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
