adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
