piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
