well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Found your dick twin last night
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
