Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
