Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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