I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
There are leaves in my underwear?
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