Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
