Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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