I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
