I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
