i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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