I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
