Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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