He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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