Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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