I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
