i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
