Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize