We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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