Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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