You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
