if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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