I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
