there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
