lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
