found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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