The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
