I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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