Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize