He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
