girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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