direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
