That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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