my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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