You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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