Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
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