are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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