and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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