that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
