Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
