Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
