Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
