Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
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