Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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