she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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