I heard we made out
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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