It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
