Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
