A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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