He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
