How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
