i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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