Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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