Don't you send me to vm
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
