She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
