It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
