He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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