So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
